Monday, September 10, 2012
Its my mom's birthday today. For me, I don't forget anniversaries..and dates. That's just how I am. For my Mom's birthday today, I did buy a card. More for me..its very therapeutic. Although to some, they may think why would you waste your money on a card that will never be read? And to that I think why do we put flowers down on a grave then? Here's mine...
Mom, no one has to tell me how lucky I am to have you, because I've known for a long time. When I think back over the years and remember all the special things you've done for me. I realize that you're not only a wonderful mom- you're also a unique woman. You've taught me so much about life and love and giving and those are lessons i'll never forget. You've shown me how to stand on my own in the world, and for that i'll always be grateful. So many things that have added to my happiness have been gifts from you. Maybe having a mom like you has spoiled me a bit, but don't ever think I don't appreciate and love you, because I do.
My first thing I did on Friday was that I did go to the cemetary in Boulder City to place flowers. I was tired, but I wanted to go because I knew I wouldn't make it there in the afternoon. I don't carry on conversations at the gravesite..its just awkward to me. But again, that is me. I missed you today..we would always have a birthday blowout weekend..going out to dinner, maybe a movie..whatever. And that is what i've done this week. I saw a movie with Theresa earlier and I swear we probably laughed more at things we did or said during the movie, than the movie itself. I never laughed so hard...Theresa started to squeak..I'm coughing and gagging..from the laughing. It was great, oh the name of the movie it was called Hope Springs. Thats what best friends do...laughing at the simplest of things. I think you would have approved. After what seemed an endless ride home on Friday, I finally slept. It was almost 10 o'clock before I got home. I was very drowsy, but I made it. Friday night, we made it to Marie Callander's ....we had a great time, ate too much, not to forget the pie. It was just fun to get out. Marie's was a favorite of yours and mine..I didn't mean to pick for that reason..but I picked nonetheless.
Saturday I spent the aftenoon with Lilly and we made it to the Harvest Festival. Its a tradition now. I have to go. I started going over five years ago..I would call you on the phone and tell what was there..and you put your order in for what you wanted. Now, well...I go for me. Its my retail therapy. The funny thing is, you had me buy all of these soup mixes. And I couldn't look at the package without crying...those were my issues. Anyway, a year later..I started eating them again....and now, I was telling Lilly that I have to go get my supply. She just laughed at me because she knew of my issues. Its funny now. And Lilly and her Mom went on Friday and they took a picture with Mr. Fudge in honor of Jessica..because with their family they had memories with Jessica..and it was with Mr. Fudge. That was something Jessica needed to have a supply of too! I think that with both of us..the craft show is about memories..and thats why we keep going back, it makes us happy.
The parking lot does not. ; )
One thing I've observed this weekend for me is that I haven't cried. Which is a milestone for me. Although while writing this, I've shed a tear or two. The thing that I did do which I realise is something I do...I go into the kitchen. And I cooked...and cooked. I don't know why I do that , but again its therapy for me.
Happy Birthday Mom- I love you very much. And always will.