My Birthday 2009! Year 31.

My 30th birthday, was just not very happy. And I decided to do something about it. I don't need a party..but I need to be doing something! So I am going to see a show that I have been dying to see. BEATLES LOVE!! :)

First Trip.

For my first trip . I came to Provo for Education Week. August 2008.

Love this temple.

My friend Lilly. :)

I'm happier. And I am discovering the sunshine in my soul.




It seems to me when you go through the grieving process, you experience lots of firsts. When my Dad had passed. Me and my mom went through some firsts...first trips, first car crisis...first home repair crisis..etc. I have done well getting through life. Its been difficult. But you just have to take it day by day. I wanted to go somewhere, and not sure where. And then I discovered Education Week. I knew that this is what I needed. I'm still trying to heal, but I know that this will be good. Education week is a week long seminar of different classes and activities put on by BYU. It was such an uplifting experience. It was here that I was awakened. There was a class that I needed to attend, and it was called Coping with the Death of a Loved One. One of the scriptures that was quoted was in 2 Timothy 4:7 "I fought a good fight, I finished my course, and I kept my faith."

As I go through my notes, I recorded alot. One of the instructors called the period in the first couple of years as finding your new normal. I so understood that. One of the things, that I liked was that "Feeling is Healing". You try to pull yourself together in public, in front of your friends, and then you have or at least I have had quiet little breakdowns. Then I would go through the rest of my day. I just felt numb. But something happened after I attended this class. As the class of 100+ rushed the stage to meet the lecturers, I went with Lilly into the empty ballroom in the Wilk. It was there that I finally let it all out. The Spirit was so strong, it felt like I was being held. And I finally felt an overwhelming sense that I was going to be ok. No matter what. Even though I didn't have my parents with me physically, that I wasn't alone.

It was here that I had my first long, hard ,belly laugh. Complete with tears from laughing so hard. I attended a lecture from Barbara Barrington Jones. I remember seeing her at EFY and a stake conference ages ago. Listening to her was just so much fun. Loved her. She showed a clip from Brian Reagan. Look up Brian on Youtube under Brian Reagan Emergency room. Its hilarious! :)

It was here at Education Week, that I took my first steps into finding the joy in my journey. I also discovered my favorite scripture here.

Its in Mosiah 2:41 " And moreover, I would desire that ye consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual: and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of neverending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."

General Conference 2009

A drizzly, cold day. But we loved it! I love this picture. Although a friend of mine commented we looked like the bars to a cell phone battery. I will nickname us the stair steps! ;)

We had an opportunity to attend the Spring General Conference this year. I LOVE Conference! I didn't know if it would come together, but it did. We got tickets for the Sat am session. It was a grey drizzly day. Andrea and Lilly came on the trip. We rode the plane with Patty's mom Kathy. Oh my gosh, what a bumpy flight! I was on the last row...in the middle. Because its Southwest, you just get on, no assigned seating. So, here I am sitting in the middle of these two strangers just praying I wouldn't throw up. Believe me, there were times that I wanted to. After they left, thats when it happened. But I waited till most everyone was off the plane. And I was handed water in a can, weird concept..but I get it. LOL. We stayed downtown at Marriott. So we were in walking distance. There were some things that were said at Conference that I felt were personally for me. There were was a talk from L. Tom Perry and he talked abt stressful times, and stressing the Best is Yet to come. One of the talks I really enjoyed was Elder David Bednar's talk and President Eyering. Its been quite awile for me to remember all this. But one thing does stand out to me...the hymns that we sang through conference were ones that tugged at my heart strings. In particular, when the tabernacle choir sang"Lillies of the Field" , I hadn't heard it since my mom's funeral, and I blubbered. I tend to do that. But I was ok. We got into the Sat afternoon session by waiting in stand by. We went around temple sqaure, and one other thing I remember. There were protesters everywhere! They were not very nice. And they would yell on the sidewalk. I have a fun memory to share. We were waiting to cross the street. And we came across another belligerent protester, going on and on about we were going to you know where. Anyways, we started to sing I am a Child of God. Very loudly. And as sweet as we could. :) It really irritated that person....and we drowned him out and walked on. We spent Sunday at Patty's apartment...cooked a lasagna in the crockpot for the first time...and it was really good. Then we went home. Such a great time!